Paul has a plan

I recently had the opportunity to engage in an extended conversation with a man who had been homeless for about 3 or more years.  During the course of this conversation, the man named Paul would on a couple of occasions start referring to what he had in mind regarding his own future.  He was confident that if he could just get his hands on a tent and a sleeping bag from Wal-Mart that he would be set.  He also occasionally spoke about some getting back into playing the drums and maybe seeing where that could take him.  Paul was certain that if he could get further south, perhaps to Florida, that this location change would also revolutionize his life for the better.  These are the kinds of ideas Paul had regarding future opportunities for personal betterment.  I am fairly certain Paul was in his late 50's.

 Of course, I would  try to steer Paul towards seeking help through one of the many homeless shelters available to him in the area.  I tried to point out to Paul that it was going down to the 20's the following two or three nights, and he needed to find somewhere he could be safe from such temperatures.  Also, the homeless shelters seemed to me to be the obviously best option available for what I considered to be more meaningful improvements in Paul's life going forward regarding job prospects, safety, improving his health, and other potential issues I was sure were probably plaguing Paul.  Paul refused that route and remained confident that his plan was the way to go.  The last I saw of Paul was outside a Flying J truckstop where he was panhandling money. 

I mention this interaction because a couple of days after this,  I was revisiting this encounter, and it dawned on me that Paul's skewed thinking is very reminiscent of our own in terms of how I believe we interact with God.  I believe that many of us think that we know some "good ideas" to get going in the right direction in regards to spiritual growth and improvement, but our perceptions are so warped by our lengthy time living in a state of spiritual malnutrition that we can't see how short sighted our goals are.  We are stubbornly unwilling to submit ourselves to simpler and more fundamental steps (not changing our current situation, but resubmitting our hearts more fully to and intensely in pursuit of Christ).  We think if we can just do this or that, it will turn things around, but we are not acknowledging the depth of our need.  This is not meant to be a downer for anyone nor accusatory(these thoughts applied to myself when thinking them at the time which was recently).  On the contrary, when we allow ourselves to determine the next steps when in a state of spiritual malnutrition (lack of a prayer life, Bible study, fellowship, consistent disobedience, etc.), we are keeping ourselves from walking in a place of fulfillment, meaningfulness, joy, and peace that we don't even think is possible.

 We must recognize God is the one with clarity, not us.  We get that clarity simply by hiding ourselves deeply within Him as we did when we first came to him as little children.