Reaching Out

This is a blog post I've been literally carrying around on a couple of scraps of paper in my wallet for several months.  This seems a good time to finally get it out there.  Also....I always feel the need on some of my posts like this one to communicate to you clearly. Although I believe strongly in these principles and the profound potential that can be realized if we DO them, this does not mean that I have "arrived" at a place in which I practice them as consistently as I should. This is an encouragement to us ALL to recognize the constant opportunities we are given and an encouragement to seize these opportunities more and more regularly.  Otay, here we go.

Do you have a relationship that almost makes you wince with pain when you remember that you must interact with this person yet again?  Perhaps, it is a co-worker that has become the bane of your existence or a classmate that will be in the same class as you for what seems an eternity. Or maybe it is a family member that will be a part of your life going forward whether you like it or not.

Another possibility is that the tension or anxiety or negative whatever that you have is not necessarily localized in a single person.  Perhaps it is a group of people.  Maybe at your high school or college, there is a group of atheists that are particularly outspoken and have become aware of your faith.  Maybe you have become the target that they often engage trying to provoke or embarrass.  There are obviously political differences that can motivate these kinds of feelings.  There are cultural differences and religious differences. And on and on and on.  Rather than trying to conquer or be conquered....  Rather than trying to go the "invisibility" route of trying to go SO unnoticed that there never need be another confrontation or interaction.... I have another set of possible steps to try out.





1. Pray
    Take some time before you begin the next several steps and seek God's help both for yourself and them.


The following are not necessarily in any order and don't have to all be done all the time but can be mixed and matched as you see fit.

2. Speak first
    I have a close friend in Mobile, AL. We used to work together, and he told me once that he always gauged what someone was thinking or their general state of mind first thing in the morning when he passed them in the hall for the first time.  He said if they spoke to him and/or greeted him in any way, this meant they were in a good frame of mind and if not, he knew to stay away from them because they either were in a bad mood in general or had a problem with him specifically.  I couldn't help but laugh. When he asked me why I said, but what if the other person approaching you is thinking the exact same thing about you, and you both pass each other waiting for the other to speak first?  Anyhoo, such a small simple gesture as saying hello, how are you, what's up, etc. can really mean a lot when we initiate the contact sometimes.


3. Extend your hand for a handshake
   This is the physical equivalent of the above principle.  It shows you are not only initiating interaction but are willing to physically make contact.  Sounds so small, but people sometimes get ideas in their head that people don't want to touch them.  You never know who this is and sometimes the simple act of a smile, head nod, and a brief handshake can break that perception.


4. Do something kind for them
   Even simply offering to do something can sometimes be all it takes to communicate that you want this person to know you want to be a friend to them.


5. Share a funny story or personal experience with them
   Obviously, this is only if and when an opportunity arises and probably good to choose a "safe" funny story or personal experience until you get to know them a bit better or have a consistently good enough relationship with them.  This provides a shared experience with them.


6. Offer to share food or get them something to eat or drink
  This is sort of a subset of number 4 but food has a special place in this process.  This is especially true if you both eat or drink together.  It tends to create a more relaxed environment for you both to perhaps talk or not even to talk but to simply be in each other's presence and begin to see each other in a new light.

7. DON'T expect results
    Wait....what?  Perhaps this post has had a Zig Ziglar win friends and "influence" people feel to it.  I am not a fan.  Stay with me.  What I mean by don't expect results is not about being hopeful, but I want you to understand that this is not about doing this a few times in an attempt to manipulate a very basic short term outcome.  This is AT LEAST as much about allowing God to change us as it is about our actions being used to hopefully change others.  In other words, I believe the above actions/principles can become a way of life, and if we never or extremely rarely see fruits of it, we will still greatly benefit from it.  Let God have a greater control over who and when any actual noticed changes play out.

8. Pray
   Think of it like bookends.  We need to surround ourselves and these endeavors in prayer.  It is ultimately the power of the Holy Spirit at work in our lives that will bring about meaningful change in AND through us.

In 2 Kings 5, we find the story of Naaman the leper being healed.  He is an important figure in Syria, and when he encounters Elisha seeking instructions for healing, it is not what he is expecting.

"9 So Naaman came with his horses and chariots and stood at the door of Elisha's house. 10 And Elisha sent a messenger to him, saying, “Go and wash in the Jordan seven times, and your flesh shall be restored, and you shall be clean.” 11 But Naaman was angry and went away, saying, “Behold, I thought that he would surely come out to me and stand and call upon the name of the Lord his God, and wave his hand over the place and cure the leper. 12 Are not Abana[c] and Pharpar, the rivers of Damascus, better than all the waters of Israel? Could I not wash in them and be clean?” So he turned and went away in a rage. 13 But his servants came near and said to him, “My father, it is a great word the prophet has spoken to you; will you not do it? Has he actually said to you, ‘Wash, and be clean’?” 14 So he went down and dipped himself seven times in the Jordan, according to the word of the man of God, and his flesh was restored like the flesh of a little child, and he was clean."

I can't help but wonder sometimes if I have the same attitude towards so many of these simple little things I believe God shows me to do.  I pray that I will be willing to be obedient to Him whether it seems profound or simple to me.  I pray the same for you.