I feel the need to express what the main reasons are that I write this blog.
First, allow me to voice what I believe can be some understandably wrong ideas about what I am trying to do or why I am writing it.
I do not want to give people the impression that I am not struggling with my own issues. There are many things that I discuss on this blog specifically because writing about them helps me to think more carefully and clearly about stuff that I am struggling with. When I state what I am in the process of learning from Scriptures or life in general, it is not intended to give an impression of great scholarly study (have you read my blog), but it is to show that even a truck driver can access deep and powerful truths within the Bible and by the help of the Holy Spirit throughout every day life. Therefore, if I, the truck driver, can access these insights, anyone can. Or...more specifically, you can.
Also, understand this, I struggle with sin. I have shared some personal info about this, and I have been working through how to share a bit more of my personal story, but I just want to make it clear that another conclusion that should not be reached because of my uber willingness to focus almost exclusively on spiritual and Scriptural topics is that I am therefore implying that I do not struggle with sin. This entire post makes me uncomfortable because of the degree to which the word "I" has been used. It is not my intention to craft this blog as a voice for only my insights but I also want to spotlight others including the thoughts of any who frequent the blog. I have, however, felt a push to give my thoughts some context. That context will be a few posts that are forthcoming regarding the good, bad, ugly, and beautiful about my life up until this point. In these posts, I will spend some time exploring my past, important people in my life, and my present. I bring this up now to say that if you are under the impression that I am seeking to point to myself as someone who is "holier than thou" and a faker, you are free to hold to that opinion but please know that I know who I am, and a crucial part of who I am is who I was. God is unbelievably gracious in dealing with my failings now, but what really blows me away is how gracious He is at not bringing up my past nose dives. That being said, one of the biggest things that sobers me up when I am feeling a bit "holier than whomever" is a short remembrance of who I am when I am not even trying to follow Christ. I promise you it ain't pretty. Just know that I know how profoundly screwed up I was, and I also know that I am still struggling with sin. Just because I don't make this blog into a full on national enquirer expose on "Dennis--What Crap did he do and What Crap is he doing even now!", doesn't mean I am not aware of that. This is not Jerry Springer; I ain't Catholic, and you are not my priest.
OK, enough of that.
Why am I writing this?
1. It helps me to sort through my thoughts more carefully and clearly when I sit down and actually write about it. Writing about it officially puts it "out there" for all to see and therefore, writing about it is a way to push my self to think more carefully and express my thoughts more concisely. This helps me when I am later talking about some things because I already have my mental ducks in a row....at least, on a few things. :)
2. I want to give some of these posts as a gift to my kids. It will be sort of like a snap shot of how I saw the world at the time when I was writing the given post, and by the time they are old enough to care, it will be a snap shot from quite some time ago. (I did my first blog post two months before Ella was born.) I am hoping it will give them something concrete to consider as they themselves are sorting through some of these same issues.
3. I want those closest to me to have a way to know my thoughts. Myndall is the primary person in this category, but I/we have also been blessed with an incredibly large number of family that we are close to and an amazing array of friends who I cannot and would not want to imagine living life without. However, life is insanity and slow, meaningful chats over a cup of coffee happens far too infrequently for any of us(including Myndall and I). Therefore, this is a way to have a more continuous meaningful conversation in spite of the insanity. I will still probably be drinking coffee. You may imbibe the beverage of your choice. :)
That's pretty much it.
Smooches and sunshine